Poisoned
by IrknZIM
Summary: zim has an evil plan to pioson dib. will it work? (probably not but read it anyway)


"Poisoned"  
  
"Alien! Alien! ALIEN!"  
  
"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"  
  
This is what you might hear ringing across the playground at Skool during your typical lunch break.  
  
"For the last time you crazy, walking bag of stink! Stop following me and shut up!" Zim yelled into Dib's face.  
  
"I'll never stop! Not until the world knows what you really are!"  
  
There was a pause in which the both folded their arms and turned their backs to each other, as if trying to figure out what to do with themselves.  
  
"Listen Dib," said Zim turning around. "I've been working on this plan see? A plan that will settle our differences forever."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Dib said unbelievingly. "The only thing that will settle our differences is me turning you into the FBI or you actually destroying the earth."  
  
"Oh, there is one thing human." Zim's voice suddenly turned dark. "What we need is a test. A test of the mind. He who wins will get what he wants, and he who loses...will die."  
  
"You don't really mean-" Dib began, but Zim cut him off with a nod of his head.  
  
"Of course I do! It's the only way! You and I have both known that since the horrible day we met!" Yelled Zim with narrowed eyes.  
  
"Well how do I know you're not just going to rig it all up so that you know for sure that I lose whatever you have planned?" asked Dib suspiciously.  
  
"There is the same probability that I might lose my life as well. I give you my honor as an Invader," he bowed. "You're not getting any better than that."  
  
Dib stopped and thought for a moment. On one hand he might finally be able to rid himself of Zim forever. But on the other hand he might lose his life. And what did Zim have in mind?  
  
"It won't hurt will it?" he asked cautiously,  
  
"You won't feel a thing human." Zim answered with the same darkened voice.  
  
"Alright," said Dib with a rather determined look on his face. "What do I have to do?"  
  
Zim smiled evilly at his answer. "Come to my base this Sunday at 12:00. Gir will escort you down to my labs and we will have lunch. Then I will bring out the test."  
  
* 0_o` *  
  
Sunday came all too soon for Dib. It was cold and frosty that afternoon. In the sky hung low silver gray clouds, much like Dib's spirits. Dib pulled his jacket up more to keep warm. Never in his entire life was he more nervous than when he walked up to Zim's base and knocked on the door.  
  
A very small silver robot with glowing blue eyes answered his knock. This must be Gir, thought Dib as the robot opened the door wider so he could come in.  
  
"Hi!" said Gir with an enthusiastic wave. "You must be Dib! Master's tol' me all `bout you! He says you're the stupidest earth monkey, besides President Bush, on this whole planet!"  
  
"Oh he did, did he?" said Dib looking around and punching a fist into his hand.  
  
"Um, I think I better take him to you now. He's been waitn' all day!" Gir beckoned Dib to follow him. Dib followed cautiously. They walked over to the couch which suddenly rose from the floor. Beneath it a floating platform big enough for two people to stand on appeared. Gir and Dib got on it and it began to lower them into an Irken laboratory. Dib had been here once before when he was trying to get pictures for Mysterious Mysteries. Zim had caught him and had taken him prisoner aboard one of his larger military ships for experimentation. His sister Gaz had saved him, but she wouldn't be able to save him now.  
  
Gir lead him into another room. This one was filled with the same cords, wires, computer screens, and, of course, the eerie red glow that all the other rooms in the laboratories had.  
  
Zim was sitting at a particularly large computer screen typing in an Alien language Dib couldn't read. Gir suddenly changed color from blue to red. He saluted and his voice got raspy as he said, "The Dib human has arrived, Master!"  
  
Zim turned around in a purple chair and smiled when he saw Dib.  
  
"Greetings human," he said with narrowed eyes. "I've been expecting you."  
  
"Well, of course you've been expecting me. You're the one who invited me, remember?"  
  
"Could you get with the program?! This is supposed to be a scary story! I just thought it would sound good right there okay?!"  
  
"Okay, but still, it was pretty lame."  
  
"Just follow me," Zim walked over to the center of the room and snapped his fingers. Suddenly a bunch of robot arms began to set a very fancy table. When they where done, the smell of fresh salmon, and creamy mushroom soup filled the air. Dib almost couldn't resist.  
  
"Sit down, go on. I ensure you, there's nothing wrong with it." Zim insisted as he pulled out his own chair.  
  
"Wait a minute. I thought you couldn't eat human food. That must mean that it's not really human food!" cried Dib pointing at the food.  
  
"True, I cannot eat human food. It's a combination of Irken and human, so I can digest it," said Zim pouring himself a bowl of soup. "If you're not going to eat anything you might as well just, sit down."  
  
And so Dib sat, but he could not ignore the smell. He had skipped breakfast too, because he was in such a hurry to get ready all morning, so you can imagine, he was starving. And Zim was eating it too. Zim wouldn't eat any of it if he had poisoned it or something right? Still, he must have something up his sleeve. But that smell.  
  
Eventually, Dib gave in. For most of the meal he kept quiet, keeping an eye on Zim, but Zim didn't look the least bit guilty. Once in a while Zim would ask how everything was and Gir stole a piece of bread. Strangely, everything seemed normal. The only weird thing he noticed was that Zim didn't finish the last of his soup.  
  
After the plates were cleared Zim announced that it was time for the test.  
  
"Computer," he bellowed into the room,"Bring out the drinks." Another robot arm set out two cups in front of Zim. He reached in to his pocket, pulled out a red pill and showed it to Dib.  
  
"You're fate, human," he began," depends on this decision. This is a highly poisonous Irken substance. It is harmless when it is in the from of a solid, but deadly when put into liquid." He took the two cups and turned around so Dib couldn't see what he was doing. When Zim turned back the pill was gone. He set one cup in front of him and one in front of Dib.  
  
"Alright," Zim said leaning back in his seat. "Choose which one you want to drink and I will drink the other, but beware of the poison. It is in one of the two cups." Dib thought for a moment.  
  
"We'll, you want me to die because you hate me so, maybe you would put the one with the poison in front of me. So, I definitely can't drink that one." Dib said considerably.  
  
"However," Dib raised a finger while he talked," Your mind works in strange ways so; you would try to trick me into switching the cups because you put the poison in front of you. So I certainly can't take the cup in front of you!"  
  
"Well," Zim was getting impatient. "Which cup are you going to drink?"  
  
"Don't rush me. My life is at stake here!" Dib was starting to sweat. It was a one out of two chance. What if he got the one with the poison in it? Earth would be free game for Zim! But what if Zim drank the poison? Dib would finally have his revenge and wouldn't be considered crazy anymore. He did the only thing he could think of.  
  
"Okay, you drink the one in front of you, and I'll drink the one in front of me," he said in an unsure kind of voice.  
  
"Agreed," Zim raised the cup to his lips and drank deeply. Dib did the same.  
  
* 0_o` *  
  
Zim walked Dib to the door. Dib was feeling rather triumphant because he noticed Zim was holding his stomach or squeedliy spooch or whatever it was.  
  
As soon as Dib was gone, Zim flopped over on the couch and groaned in pain. He was able to get down into the lab, though, before falling over again into a chair. He squinted his eyes and held his squeedliy spooch as he groaned again.  
  
"What's wrong Master?" Gir asked innocently. "Oh no! You didn't eat the bad stuff did you?!"  
  
"No, Gir," Zim said weakly. "The poison was in neither of the cups. It was in the food." He sat up to explain. "You see, Gir, the poison I used sinks to the bottom of whatever liquid you put it in. I didn't eat the last of the soup because I knew this. Dib on the other hand ate all of it. The drinks were only a decoy," he groaned again.  
  
"Then why are you sick?" Gir seemed to understand, for once, that something was wrong.  
  
"I must have gotten a small dose of the poison, but don't worry. If it's only a little bit I'll live. Hopefully Dib is feeling as bad as I am right now, if not worse. Heh-heh-heh, ouch!" he gripped is side again.  
  
"I'll be fine Gir," said Zim noticing the tears in his eyes. "All I need is a good rest. Now go...watch the Scary Monkey show or something."  
  
Gir smiled and ran away.  
  
* 0_o` *  
  
The next day at Skool Zim looking a little green-wait, no-scratch that-was looking a little sick. Yeah, because he's always green, doi. Anyways, the point is Zim came to Skool and Dib didn't. In fact, Dib didn't show up all week, but Mrs. Bitters didn't say why. For all the class knew, he was either sick, or at the Crazy House for Boys. Only Zim knew the real reason why Dib wasn't there. But the next week...  
  
"Dib, you're late for Skool, and where have you been all this time?" Mrs. Bitters croaked. Zim gasped at these words. He can't be alive! He just can't! Zim thought, but then he saw him. Dib came in and glared at Zim before he took his seat.  
  
"Sorry, Mrs. Bitters. I've been really sick. I guess it was some sort of food poisoning," Dib glared at Zim again.  
  
"Wait!" cried Zim jumping on top of his desk and pointing to Dib. "You can't be alive! How can you be alive?! That poison is deadly! Not even our finest scientists have found a cure!"  
  
"How should I know? It probably just, has no effect on humans. Nice try Zim. Better luck next time space boy!" Dib looked very content as he leaned back and for once, enjoyed his day at Skool.  
  
The End 


End file.
